Kavita J. Patel

Company/Title: Kavita J. Patel, Relationship Expert

Location: New York City, NY

Kavita J Patel has been a Love Coach since she was 13 years old, when she began coaching her parents through their turbulent marriage. Now in her 30s, it wasn’t until her relationship with her husband, Hemal, began to unravel early in their marriage that she really refined her skills as a Relationship Expert — developing a Process that single-handedly shifted her deeply unhappy marriage into an Outrageously Happy Relationship.

Tell us about your educational and previous work background.

I attended Business school at Boston University with a major in finance and minor in economics. Looking back now that just sounds so funny because it is so different from what I do today. However, I totally believe that each accomplishment builds on the next.

How did you start working in your respective job/industry?

After graduation I was in consulting for 8 years working for Accenture and a boutique strategy firm in NYC. I knew that I always wanted to be an entrepreneur, even when I entered the corporate world. It was just a matter of time and inspiration.

I even tried to start a dress line. Yes you heard me right. I had never worked in fashion yet adored it, and decided that I would turn old sarees into dresses. Well, I came out with 10 samples, and realized this just wasn’t it. I did all of this while still being in a consultant. However, trying this out energetically open some doors, and one day I met someone who was a Health Coach. In fact she was Jain!

Coaching was something I had been looking into, but didn’t know where to start, so when I met a this fellow Jain who was health coaching. I knew this was inspiration to start my own business.

I left corporate and went back to nutrition school and then started my health coaching practice. About a year and a half into working with women around how to lose weight holistically I realized this wasn’t what I was truly passionate about. What I also realized, through talking with a mentor, is that where most of my women were seeing results were in love and relationships.

That’s when I transitioned into being a relationship expert/love coach. To get free love tips from me and free audio visit my site HERE, and sign up.

What kind of consulting do you do?

I am a Love Coach (some call me a Love Intuitive). I am not a matchmaker which is often what people think. The reason I also clarify is because there are blocks that we all have to love and just by meeting the right person doesn’t actually ensure a happy, connected, passionate relationship. There is WAY more to it.

I am a living example of that, having been through it all with my own husband. We dated for over four years, broke up (he broke up with me), got back together and got married. Within two years of marriage, he was approaching me with the same feelings of being unhappy and we were close to divorce.

Through using many of the strategies I now teach, I got to the root of what was stopping me from really letting his love IN, which I then realized was happening with most of the people in my life. We now have an amazing relationship and the love we share I never even thought was possible.

I combine my own experiences with spiritual teachings to help single women find the love of their life and have fun doing it, as well as helps women in relationships create even more powerful partnerships. I really get to the root of what creates sabotaging love patterns and have helped hundreds of people easily release those patterns so they can attract in the love they have been waiting for.

I’ve been featured in Women’s Health Magazine, FoxNews, CBS, Woman’s Day, Huffington Post and more.

What were the failures/challenges you faced, how did you address them?

Starting from scratch: When I decided to go from health coaching to being a love coach, I had to rebrand my entire business. That was a really hard decision to make because I was totally starting from scratch again, but I got support and it paid off in the end!

Letting myself be supported: When I faced the rebrand, I knew how important it was to get supported. I was in about $10,000 of debt (which in the grand scheme may not be a lot) but it felt relevant to me.

Hiring the right team members to support me was important because I believe who I surround myself directly impacts how successful I will be. However, finding the right people proved to be hard in many

cases, because starting out often I didn’t even know what I needed.

Staying in action vs. trying to figure everything out in my head: You can really get lost in there! I was scared, I wanted to perfect everything before trying to market it and test it and talk to people about it. It is important to really understand what your market’s needs and wants are, I firmly believe this, but you also have to TRY things out and often I would want to “figure it all out” without testing and trying things. I caught on to how this wasn’t serving me, and it is one of my practices to simply say to myself “give it a go and see what happens”. Put in the effort let go of the outcome.

What were some ethical challenges you faced?

Whether to serve meat at my retreats or not has come up for me. It was a matter of do I just give them what they want (because some are on strict diets) or do I do what I want and disappoint people. Often it feels like I’m imposing my beliefs onto other people, however it would also be good for them.

The second thing is with marketing, really being as honest as possible.

There’s a fine line between knowing what is possible for people when they buy my product in terms of transformation and them not being totally “there” and ready to buy. So I have to be okay pushing the buttons that are necessary to have them get into action. In the end I know it’s going to really help them, but they don’t know that yet.

Has Jainism played a role in your career? What Jain values do you use day-to-day when engaging in your work? (If you do)

Day to day when working on business deals, with clients, or even with myself anekantavad or having perspective is the main vehicle through which I am able to communicate freely and transparently. It allows me to be aware that everybody is struggling and also being able to express myself and give space to others to express where they’re at in order to connect.

Especially in love, anekantavad plays a crucial role in love and relationships. Really understanding and creating compassion between people, talking about why the ego can flare up, and what it needs to feel calmer is SO helpful in creating powerful connections.

Understanding that each person is divine and is soul and what that means in terms of how we’re seeing love when soul is pure love and light. How do we start to go inwards, more towards that? That’s what I coach my clients through in every session.

How do you strike a work-life balance with family or other activities and professional work that you are involved with?

I don’t actually believe that there is such a thing as balance. Its more like waking up every morning and asking myself, “What is the priority for the day?” I handle as much as I can around those priorities and then know that they can be replaced by others if needed throughout the day. For me it’s basically about having some structure but then letting the structure be flexible.

When we are too stuck to structure and how to create balance it can be hard to enjoy life. The little moments that sneak up on us.

What advice do you have for budding entrepreneurs who want to start a niche business such as you do?

You have to REALLY REALLY love what you’re creating and know how what you are creating benefits you and the world. Feel the fire in your belly to get that message out into the world.

Owning your own business is a lot of work. However, I have freedoms that so many don’t. I make my own schedule. I travel a lot. I live half of the year in NYC and the other half in LA. I don’t have a cap on what I can make. All of this has come with everyday facing my fears of what I will look like, or what is right, or if things have already been done before. I just do what I love everyday and because I have that fire in my belly I face my fears and stay true.

The last piece I will give here. Is don’t want to do something different. You are different your gifts are unique, your twist on what you are creating is all that is needed.

As we start a new year, do you have any suggestion for people to know themselves better or improve their existing relation with partners or how come to peace with their past?

It’s what I have been taught by all my gurus. Breathing and meditating.

Helping yourself discover when you’re annoyed or angry or frustrated – really giving yourself space to discover why. Where is that coming from?

I have found that that usually requires conversation with someone that you trust to help you figure out what the root of that is. Way too often we tolerate too much and build a lot of resentment inside. The reality is that peace and bliss and harmony is often a conversation away.

Instead of holding our emotions and feelings in getting vulnerable and letting people in on that is so important. Whether you are a woman or a man.

So my one tip would be: be really aware of what your triggers are and involve people in conversation about why you were triggered. It’s never about something outside of you. When you can allow the emotion to come up, instead of pushing it aside, and use that emotion to understand yourself more, there is a lot of awareness that can come from that.

Again, if you’d like to learn more, and get free love tips from me (and a bonus audio) visit my site HERE.